Hi. Is anyone there?
Is anyone still out there?
In an attempt to rekindle my motivation on my, what seems to be an eternal quest, for a healthy life style… I’m back. I have to say that writing these words on the screen is taking a lot of courage. I didn’t realize how vulnerable it can feel to share with the world triumphs and failures, even if my web world is 16 people.
So, why am I back? Honestly part of me doesn’t really know. The other part was simply a pull back to the page in order to get things out of my head. I wish I could say I have had a surge in motivation to get back on track once and for all, but right now I am just in the warm up phase.
Yet again a long year of triumphs and failures has passed. Just to rip off the band aid, I am back up 30 of the 40 pounds that I lost last year. So that’s out there. Another career change, which has been great. Still happily married to an amazing man. One amazing pup still in the picture. And friends and family galore! Not too shabby.
Speaking of friends, I somewhat recently had a friend who devoted who knows how long to reading all of my blog entries. I don’t recall if he went back to my VanillaTweed posts or not, but regardless, he shared some insights with me about my journey. It was very interesting hearing how someone else viewed my journey. The consensus was that I have focused a lot on the “why” and “try” not a lot on the “do” and “keep doing”. Also, he mentioned how it didn’t seem that I really wanted to lose weight and that I wasn’t committed. I have to say this was hard to swallow, and I am sure I was a bit defensive when I responded to him (sorry friend), but I think he was right… kind of. If I really want to do something I have always figured out a way to do it, and I know how to lose weight. I have lost hundreds of pounds many times over over the course of many years. So perhaps he was on to something. I really didn’t like hearing it though.
The bottom line is what am I going to do about it. I am hear to tell you all with honesty and some embarrassment that I am going to do the best I can. That’s what I can promise right now. That’s it. No lofty, weird gimmicks. No extreme exercise programs that throw out my back and make me feel like a jackass. No Erica’s fad of the moment. I am going to live one day at a time doing the best things I can for myself each and every day. I really want and am committed to doing healthy, happy things for myself everyday. That is my big comeback story. I will be keeping a daily journal and will share some of those entries on here along with what I am sure will be the usual overly dramatic ridiculousness. I would love to hear from you all if you are still out there. I will be here.