Starting Fresh: Finding Me Again
Hi, Erica. It’s Erica. Just checking in. It’s been a long time. I’ve missed you! Perhaps you have decided to come out of hiding?
Perhaps, indeed. Except this time I’m doing it for me. If I just happen to have readers that are still subscribed to my feed you are welcome to stick around for my new adventures, but really this is for me. Not for the potential of getting a book deal, 1 billion followers, or surpassing my best ad-sense month… .24 cents, baby! It’s just for me, and maybe, just maybe someone else out there who may find something useful here.
I am starting fresh. I have decided I can’t move forward with my past lingering. Comparison is the devil. So boom! I cleared away all of my past articles. I have reset all of my charts and widgets. Clean slate.
I am still on the journey of losing weight. I have lost and gained, and lost and gained. Now that I am in my 40’s, and am currently the heaviest I have ever been, I am in the process of letting go of the emotion surrounding the number on the scale and how I got here. It really is a mental exercise in self-care and forgiveness. It is hard to see the number and not get emotional, but the emotions are keeping me at a stand still.
I am not talking about being in denial of the number of the scale, but alas, taking away the emotional punishment I put myself through when I see it. I am shifting right now. It may not be earth shaking, but little by little… I am finding a place of peace within myself just as I am, and I am appreciating the significance in my own individual journey.
The other focus is on action. After re-reading my past posts it was very apparent that I was stuck in the “why” of it all instead of the “doing”. That too is a shift I am making.
My weight loss journey has not been a straight shot. Nothing in my life has been a straight shot, so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. I tend to zigzag through life following inspiration and challenge as if it were the cutest puppy on the planet… which currently is our puppy, Reuben… but none-the-less I am still here and still on this journey.
I pulled a card the other night and it said that I needed to stop focusing on the end result. That’s harder than it sounds because the journey can be very frustrating, but then I had a thought… this journey will never really end, so there really is no end result. Even if I get to that number on the scale or that size on the tag… I forever will need to keep up the journey. The journey of bettering myself in some way or maintaining myself in some way. So if there is no end result what is the point? Right, the journey, and hence the point of the message. Hey, I’m a little rusty at this…give me a little grace!
So cheers to the continuing journey, may I find a new fork in the road that takes me to where I am supposed to be next!